tsunitytsunsun:

1. Friendship sucks and gets you nothing but a horse to the face.
2. If you’re going to throw a huge party for everyone, don’t forget to invite Nobunaga or else he’ll show up uninvited and wreck your hotpot.
3. Never trust the pretty guy in BDSM gear.
4. Don’t trust the okra or the mummy either.
5. Especially not the okra.
6. You cannot die unless it’s relevant to plot. Then you’re fucked.
7. The cooler you’re supposed to be, the weaker you actually are.
8. It’s totally fine to be best bros forever with the guy who’s going to kill you.
9. Ninjas have horrible senses of humor.
10. Birds are trolls.
11. The pimp slap is a universal sign of badassery and a short temper.
12. The only mercenaries who are worth what you pay are the ones with red or orange hair.
13. Mauling your husband with a bear is an acceptable way of reining him in.
14. The more of a chivalrous gentleman you are, the less likely you are to actually get some.
15. Teapots and skulls are a man’s best friend.
16. Purple lipstick doesn’t smear.
17.  Punching someone into the sky is the best way to fix their broken bones.
18. There’s nothing wrong with napping or dancing in the middle of a battlefield.
19. It is also okay to go for a stroll while causing mass amounts of carnage.
20. Never question why the creepy eccentric uncle is flying across the sky.
21. One does not simply age normally. One must PUNCH SAMURAI PUBERTY IN THE FACE.